Sunday, February 15, 2009

Sorry, folks, I have a bee in my bonnet today.

Ill-uses for critical thinking skills

1. using the intellectual advantage to humiliate and degrade those who don't meet your standards of organized thought

Okay, while I've been guilty of this in the past, I've turned over a new leaf. I promise I have! But this complaint isn't about me, it's about people who have such a high opinion of themselves and their brain-power that they forget all about compassion. This isn't a "peace and love brother" hippy-rant, it's just an observation. In my experience, life is much easier when you allow yourself to allow others to have flaws; intellectual, emotional, physical, whatever.

2. using logic and rationale as an emotional crutch

It's easy to do. My therapist pointed out to me that I tend to talk about my emotions in terms of what's logical and what's not. Over the years, I had developed a habit of using logic to justify my emotions after being taught for so long that I wasn't entitled to my feelings. Blah, blah, woof, woof, no sob story. I only mention it because it was a revelation. Now that I've noticed myself doing it, I notice other people using their brain-power to justify all sorts of emotions and behavior, appropriate or inappropriate. It's irritating to me in the same way that an ex-smoker gets irritated by smokers.

"So, what does all of this mean, Mr. Wizard?"

Well, nothing really, Timmy. Just that I'm remembering to be compassionate when I dislike someone's behavior (even the behavior I'm describing above) rather than pulling out the self-righteous routine, and it's becoming unpalatable for me to watch others engaging in that behavior. It's ugly, it's rude, it's saddening, and it's likely to alienate. It makes me ashamed that I acted that way. Although I'm complaining about it here, I think that's fair. This is my journal, and it's something I'm thinking about. Sometimes it's not easy being me. Not easy to think. I look at my ex boyfriend's carsoma tablets and I read the prescription - it says to relieve muscular pain. My heart hurts. Isn't my heart like a muscle? It hurts. And as I run my pink fingernails over the label, I wonder what it would be like to take all the pills. Would it stop hurting?

Nobody likes a sourpuss. Except maybe other sourpusses, but that's okay because then you'll have someone there to validate your self-righteousness. There are so many of them around. Vegetarians are the worse - they attempt to impose these rules on you and tell you how bad you are for eating cuddly wuddly animals. Or those environmentalists who insist on solar panels, windmills, recycling bins, etc for every household.